Yesterday someone shared an article with me
in a newspaper from some months ago. It featured a story about a certain alhaja
who was kidnapped by a group of armed men in Ekiti state. The police promised
to solve the case and bring the kidnappers to book but after a few weeks, the
incident and alhaja were all but forgotten as other happenings took people’s
attention. Some months later, the kidnappers were arrested along with the alhaja
in connection with an armed robbery they had committed. The interesting part of
the story was that the alhaja was now part of the gang and was in a romantic
relationship with the leader of the gang, her former kidnapper!
How does a sane woman fall in love with the same
person who kidnapped her to the point of aiding and abetting his life of crime?
Needless to say, I was perplexed by such an absurd story so I started to
research whether there had been similar occurrences elsewhere. I discovered
some information which I’m going to share with you. The alhaja’s situation is
not unique to her case.There have been other incidents in the world where captives develop positive feelings towards their captors. This phenomenon is called Stockholm syndrome.
***
Stockholm syndrome or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their captors,
sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors. These
feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk
endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their
captors for an act of kindness. It can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not
necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes "strong
emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently
harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other." The Freudian
theory is a hypothesis commonly used to explain Stockholm syndrome. It suggests that the bonding is the individual's
response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim
believes the same values as the aggressor, they cease to be perceived as a
threat.
Stockholm syndrome is named after the robbery
of Kreditbanken at Norrmalstorg, Sweden. During the crime, employees of the
bank were held hostage in a bank vault from August 23 to 28, 1973, while their
captors negotiated with police. During this standoff, the victims became
emotionally attached to their captors, rejected assistance from government
officials at one point, and even defended their captors after they were freed
from their six-day ordeal. It was originally called
"Norrmalmstorgssyndromet" (Swedish), directly translated as The
Norrmalmstorg Syndrome, but then later became known abroad as the Stockholm
syndrome.
Some psychologists
argue that the syndrome is as old as man itself. Evolutionary psychology says that the mind is a
set of information-processing machines that were designed by natural selection
to solve adaptive problems faced by our hunter-gatherer ancestors. One of such
adaptive problems facing early humans particularly females, was being abducted
by another band. Deadly
violence was also regularly activated in competition over women, abduction of women
and rape were widespread direct causes of reproductive conflict. Being
captured and having their dependent children killed might have been fairly
common. Women who resisted capture in such situations risked being killed. When selection is intense and persistent
like this, adaptive traits (such as capture-bonding) become universal to the
population or species.
Partial activation of the capture-bonding
psychological trait may lie behind battered wife syndrome, military basic
training, fraternity hazing, and sex practices such as sadism/masochism or bondage and discipline. There is no widely agreed upon diagnostic criteria to identify
Stockholm syndrome. However, studies have found evidence of emotional bonding
with captors in a variety of hostage or abusive situations, including abused
children and women, POWs, cult members, incest victims, and concentration camp
prisoners. Several symptoms of Stockholm syndrome have been identified in the
following: positive feelings toward the controller, negative feelings toward
the rescuers, supportive behavior by the victim helping the abuser, and lack of
desire by the victim to be rescued.
Stockholm syndrome can also be found in
family, romantic, and interpersonal relationships. The abuser may be a husband
or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, father or mother, or any other role in which
the abuser is in a position of control or authority.
It’s important to understand the
components of Stockholm syndrome as they relate to abusive and controlling
relationships. Once the syndrome is understood, it’s easier to understand why
victims support, love, and even defend their abusers and controllers.
Every syndrome has symptoms or
behaviors, and Stockholm syndrome is no exception. While a clear-cut list has
not been established due to varying opinions by researchers and experts,
several of these features will be present:
·
Positive feelings by
the victim toward the abuser/controller
·
Negative feelings by
the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them
or win their release
·
Support of the
abuser’s reasons and behaviors
·
Positive feelings by
the abuser toward the victim ,Supportive behaviors
by the victim, at times helping the abuser
·
Inability to engage
in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment
Stockholm syndrome doesn’t occur in
every hostage or abusive situation. In another bank robbery involving hostages,
after terrorizing patrons and employees for many hours, a police sharpshooter
shot and wounded the terrorizing bank robber. After he hit the floor, two women
picked him up and physically held him up to the window for another shot. As you
can see, the length of time one is exposed to abuse/control and other factors
are certainly involved.
It has been found that four situations
or conditions are present that serve as a foundation for the development of
Stockholm syndrome. These four situations can be found in hostage, severe
abuse, and abusive relationships:
·
The presence of a
perceived threat to one’s physical or psychological survival and the belief that the abuser would carry out the threat.
·
The presence of a perceived
small kindness from the abuser to the victim.
·
Isolation from
perspectives other than those of the abuser.
·
The perceived
inability to escape the situation.
Stockholm
syndrome in relationships is not uncommon. If a neighbor calls the police
during a spousal abuse incident, the abuser is passive upon arrival of the
police, only to find the abused spouse upset and threatening the officers if
their abusive partner is arrested for domestic violence. In truth, the victim
knows the abuser/controller will retaliate against him/her if
1) they encourage
an arrest,
2) they offer statements about the abuse/fight that are deemed
disloyal by the abuser,
3) they don’t bail them out of jail as quickly as
possible, and
4) they don’t personally apologize for the situation — as though
it was their fault.
Stockholm
syndrome produces an unhealthy bond with the controller and abuser. It is the
reason many victims continue to support an abuser after the relationship is
over. It’s also the reason they continue to see “the good side” of an abusive
individual and appear sympathetic to someone who has mentally and sometimes
physically abused them. Throughout history, people have found themselves
supporting and participating in life situations that range from abusive to bizarre.
In talking to these active and willing participants in bad and bizarre
situations, it is clear they have developed feelings and attitudes that support
their participation. One way these feelings and thoughts are developed is known
as “cognitive dissonance”.
“Cognitive
Dissonance” explains how and why people change their ideas and opinions to
support situations that do not appear to be healthy, positive, or normal. In
the theory, an individual seeks to reduce information or opinions that make him
or her uncomfortable. When we have two sets of cognitions (knowledge, opinion,
feelings, input from others, etc.) that are the opposite, the situation becomes
emotionally uncomfortable. Even though we might find ourselves in a foolish or
difficult situation — few want to admit that fact. Instead, we attempt to
reduce the dissonance — the fact that our cognitions don’t match, agree, or make
sense when combined. “Cognitive Dissonance” can be reduced by adding new
cognitions — adding new thoughts and attitudes. Example:
Heavy
smokers know smoking causes lung cancer and multiple health risks. To continue
smoking, the smoker changes his cognitions (thoughts/feelings) such as
1) “I’m
smoking less than ten years ago”,
2) “I’m
smoking low-tar cigarettes”,
3) “Those statistics are made up by the cancer
industry conspiracy”, or
4) “Something’s got to get you anyway!” These new
cognitions/attitudes allow them to keep smoking and actually begin blaming
government for being unfair.
Combining
Two Unhealthy Conditions
The
combination of “Stockholm syndrome” and “cognitive dissonance” produces a
victim who firmly believes the relationship is not only acceptable, but also
desperately needed for their survival. The victim feels they would mentally
collapse if the relationship ended. In long-term relationships, the victims
have invested everything and placed “all their eggs in one basket”. The
relationship now decides their level of self-esteem, self-worth, and emotional
health.
For
reasons described above, the victim feels family and friends are a threat to
the relationship and eventually to their personal health and existence. The
more family/friends protest the controlling and abusive nature of the
relationship, the more the victim develops cognitive dissonance
and becomes defensive. At this point, family and friends become victims of the
abusive and controlling individual.
Importantly,
both Stockholm syndrome and cognitive dissonance develop on an involuntary
basis. The victim does not purposely invent this attitude. Both develop as an
attempt to exist and survive in a threatening and controlling environment and
relationship. Their personality is developing the feelings and thoughts needed
to survive the situation and lower their emotional and physical risks. All of
us have developed attitudes and feelings that help us accept and survive
situations. We have these attitudes/feelings about our jobs, our community, and
other aspects of our life. As we have found throughout history, the more
dysfunctional the situation, the more dysfunctional our adaptation and thoughts
to survive.
***
After
I had re-read the newspaper story and done my research, I couldn’t help wondering
about the plights of the Chibok girls. I have seen news reports about some of
the girls who have escaped but I am bothered
about those ones still in captivity. What is the state of their mind? Have they
succumbed to Stockholm syndrome? Do they still want to be rescued?
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