12. Mariah Carey
Age: 46
11. Kesha
Age: 29
Kesha is desperate for relevance, which is probably why she sings about cannibalism, glues gold studs to her head and drinks her own urine on TV. You’d think these sad acts would be a sign of low self-esteem, but no: Kesha fully believes in her own superiority.
10. Paris Hilton
Age: 35
Despite the fact that she’s done absolutely nothing to deserve her fame, Paris Hilton still thinks you should worship her. Literally. Case in point, one of her old tweets: “Who needs church when you have @parishilton she’s proof enough that there is a god, who else could make such an angel.”
9. Rihanna
Age: 28
Take one look at Rihanna’s Instagram and you’ll be bombarded with an endless procession of selfies. Asked about her obsession with self-portraits, Rihanna offered the stunning defense that it may be “narcissistic, but whatever.”
8. Lady Gaga
Age: 30
No one buys into their own hype like Lady Gaga, the self-professed “mother” to her “monsters” who sings about being the defining artist of pop culture and music as a whole. She also regularly encourages her Twitter followers to attack her critics and billboard rivals, swearing the entire time that doesn’t care about haters. Okay, then.
7. Snooki
Age: 28
In 2011, Snooki commanded $32,000 for a single speaking event at Rutgers University. She has only ever been to community college. Now that’s a level of delusion and self-importance that not many can achieve. On top of that, the self-proclaimed meatball snaps more shots of herself than most of the other fame hungry, “stars” on this list.
6. Scott Disick
Age: 33
He may not have a day job, or even any real talent, but that doesn’t stop Scott Disick from loving himself and encouraging others to do the same (to love him, not themselves). He has literally done nothing with his life but date Kourtney Kardashian, but to hear him speak of his own skills and accomplishments, he single-handedly landed us on the moon. The father-of-two is so delusional that he actually posted a photo to Twitter that showed dollar bills rolled up as toilet paper, which he used after going to the washroom. If Scott isn’t full of you-know-what, we’re not sure who is.
5. Courtney Stodden
Age: 22
Courtney Stodden is the pursed-lip princess of Doug Hutchison, the 51-year-old actor who married her when she was just 16. That’s it. That’s all she has to offer the world. There’s nothing more to see here, despite her never-ending parade of selfies and reality show cameos.
4. Justin Bieber
Age: 22
It must be nice to have bodyguards you can order to carry you up the Great Wall of China. That’s right: Justin Bieber is such an arrogant tool that he demands his staff pamper and body-surf him like the khalessi in Game of Thrones.
3. Miley Cyrus
Age: 23
Smirking, twerking and showing the world way more of her body than what needs to be seen, Miley Cyrus is the poster child of self-obsession. She never stops talking about herself. She uses dwarves as backup dancers and refers to them as her “b*tches.” I think we all know who the real b*tch is here, Miley.
2. Kanye West
Age: 39
Where to start? He’s referred to himself as both “the Michael Jordan of music” and the “Steve Jobs” of fashion and culture. He whole-heartedly believes that he’s the Second Coming, appropriating Christ-like imagery at every turn. In one interview he outright admits “The idea of Kanye and vanity are like, synonymous.” Here’s a tip, Kanye: Being self-ware doesn’t make you any less insufferable.
1. Kim Kardashian
Age: 36
She’s the baby mama of Kanye West, so it should come as no surprise that she’s just as vain and self-obsessed as he is. What really takes the cake, however, is the fact that she filed a lawsuit against Old Navy for using an “exotic-looking brunette with a big butt” in their ad campaign, which she claims infringes on the KK brand. That, combined with endless provocative selfies (when she should be spending time with her newborn daughter) makes Kim K worthy of the Number 1 spot on our list!
Jesus. Or perhaps we should say Yeezus.
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